5.10a

Climbing 5.10a pretty easily now. Tonight after work I also tackled a 5.10c route with serious overhangs and found that I could finish it clean if I just didn't look down. That's the secret, I think. Just don't look down!

5.difficult

The word "difficult" comes from the French word "facile," which means "easy." So, difficult just means "not easy" which is kind of awesome, because in English we tend to use a lot more hyperbole than most other languages do, especially French.

And if difficult is simply a matter of being "not easy" then it's like saying "not beautiful," which is not the same as saying "ugly," is it?

Difficult is therefore not impossible, it's just... not easy.

!!!

I love words. And today, I love climbing almost as much.

Great session with Rachel, a new climbing partner. We were at the gym from 11:30 this morning till after 4 p.m. – laps and trying hard stuff and bouldering and lots of sweating and laughing. I'm getting into more difficult 5.10 routes, including a couple of somewhat confusing 5.10c routes and attempting some scary 5.9 overhangs. I can feel myself pushing against the boundaries of a comfort zone that I've been in so long it's like the walls are made of... rock.

!!!

Comfort ≠ Safety

I'm reading a book called The Rock Warrior's Way, which is all about the mental training involved in climbing. There's a lot in it, but it would take a whole separate blog to go into the details, so let's just say the mental game is huge in climbing. Huge.

Here is the biggest lesson I've learned from actually climbing, and which has been put into simple terms and confirmed for me in the book: comfort and safety are paradoxical terms.

There is a moment on the wall when you might feel totally out of control, hanging off an overhang and you can't get one foot on a hold and your hands feel slippery and everything's wrong as you try to unclip the next quickdraw. The instinct is to go for what feels the safest; pulling your body upright and in towards the wall. But that's the worst thing because you're expending energy you don't have and wasting time with awkward movements. The best thing to do would be to lean away from the wall, hang on with that one sweaty hand – with a lighter grip, in fact – and slowly and calmly deal with the clip.

What feels safe, ironically, is not safe. And what feels scary as all hell is, actually, the safest. This both drives me crazy and delights me. There's definitely a life lesson here, but one I sure haven't learned to apply. I hold on for dear life to try to avoid mistakes and end up making so many more.

Relax and breath on the way up

Fifth climbing class today – I'm clearly stronger in the bouldering cave than on the wall, which means I need to work on stamina. It's so easy to say "take" and sit in my harness when top-roping, but I've been working on avoiding that and learning to just relax and take breaks (with straight arms) on every route. Today I discovered the higher I get, the more shallow my breathing becomes. Climbing with held breath is a bad idea. Breathing deeply keeps you moving and tricks your body and mind into thinking the route is easier than it actually is. So I reminded myself to breath even deeper through the hardest parts.

Next week is the last class and Daniel said he's going to go over a lot about the mental aspect of climbing. He said Chris Sharma, arguably the world's best rock climber (at least at one time), spent two years meditating and then came back to blow everyone out of the water on the rock face. So much of any effort is in the mind, and climbing is definitely no exception.

Climbing scared

Why is it that whenever I reach a new high in any endeavour I inevitably find myself falling immediately back into a level of fear and uncertainty?

On Tuesday at the gym I practised falling and it was no problem. Neither was looking down from the top of the climb. I even tried at 5.10c and made it to the top with only one rest (or "take.") I was on fire, and left the gym feeling like I could do anything. Seriously. Thoughts of medical school applications crossed my mind.

However. Last night I tried another 5.10c, but this one has an overhang, so when I got close to the top where I took a rest and sat in my hardness, I had no points of contact on the wall and realized I was 30 feet up with only a teeny tiny little rope holding me by a teeny tiny little band of material no thicker than my finger and I started freaking out and had to be lowered back to the sweet, sweet ground. So today, I felt frustrated because the fear is back. Will my harness hold? Did I check my belayer's device? What will happen if I slip and fall? Why am I feeling nauseous and panicky at the top? My technique was fine till about 2/3 of the way up every climb and then I started "folding in," instead of keeping my arms straight and breathing slow and easy.

I was totally on my way, defeating the fear and gaining strength, balance and form, and then I suddenly seemed to lose it all in one fell swoop.

WTF?

It's amazingly ironic that the self-preservation style of facing the wall and pulling in with your arms – effectively wasting energy and throwing off your balance – is precisely the opposite of what is actually going to keep you from falling off a wall (or rock face). It's the strangest, most unnatural feeling, climbing properly. You have to keep your arms straight, leaning out from the wall and turning yourself sideways a lot of the time. You need to step with just the smallest side of your toe rather than the whole shoe. Often, you need to have one foot or hand completely free of the holds. When done in the most efficient and elegant way, climbing in no way feels safe, at least to the beginner (like me). It's also a sport that will teach you to not get cocky.

Lesson learned.